my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
