Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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