SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
