Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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