apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
