I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
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Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
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the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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