Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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