I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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