That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
it's like iHOP with fire
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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