That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
you had me at cake vodka
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
