He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
