Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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