You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
you had me at cake vodka
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
