I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
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you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
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Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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