I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
