Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
