Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
