you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
a search helicopter?!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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