I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
