The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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