She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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