Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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