Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
