You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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