Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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