I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
