I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
