I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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