Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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