dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
