Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
