so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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