anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
