Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize