anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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