I look better un-naked...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize