I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
