What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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