I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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