Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
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Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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