Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
