Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
