Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
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She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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