come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
