i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
