The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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