I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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