I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
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Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
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I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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