Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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