Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
