There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Can I color on your dick again?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
