Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
