No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
