is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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