I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
