By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
