It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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